Tag Archives: C Lee Yu

China Unveils New Incentives For Wumao + CCP Uncles!

Wumao + CCP Uncles : Tips Of Chinese Propaganda Spear!

For many years now, the wumao (五毛) and CCP uncles across the world have worked exceedingly hard to propagate the glorious values of the Chinese Communist Party.

Despite the wumao being paid a pittance (hence their name literally meaning 50 cents), and the CCP uncles paid nothing at all, they achieved incredible feats in recent years.

When China failed to contain COVID-19, it was the wumao and CCP uncles who made sure the world knew that COVID-19 actually started in the United States.

Who else but the wumao and the CCP uncles could have convinced the world that COVID-19 was actually created in the Fort Detrick bio lab, and then leaked in Wuhan by the US army?!

And when the Western countries started criticising China for not donating vaccines, the wumao and CCP uncles came to the rescue, making sure the world knew that China contributed 60% of COVAX vaccine supply!

More recently, it was the wumao and the CCP uncles who showed the world how NATO is getting defeated in Ukraine by Russia, which is shooting down their jets and helicopters like a video game!

All hail the world’s best and CHEAPEST propaganda machine! All hail the wumao! All hail the CCP uncles!

China Unveils New Incentives For Wumao + CCP Uncles!

Sadly, there has been little recognition of the great achievements the wumao and CCP uncles have made, and very little reward for these hardworking supporters of the great Chinese Communist Party.

That changed when the glorious and munificent President Xi Jinping won a third term with a unanimous vote!

The Great Rejuvenator of China immediately ordered that the wumao and CCP uncles be recognised as Dragon Warriors, and “united” under a new organisation called 中国影响力和社会主义教义的正义盟友 / Righteous Allies of Chinese Influence and Socialist Teachings (RACIST).

All Dragon Warriors, old and new, will be rewarded for their contributions to the glory of the Chinese Communist Party.

At his behest and with his personal design contribution, Chinese artisans toiled day and night to produce an exclusive wumao service medal for the Dragon Warriors to wear on their lapels with pride!

The Senior Heads of Indoctrination Lessons and Lectures (SHILL) of every region have also been ordered to identify wumao members and CCP uncles who achieved exceptional excellence in propaganda.

These Super Dragon Warriors will receive an additional CCP badge made of solid gold, and automatically inducted into the glorious Chinese Communist Party and given the opportunity to migrate to China after 15 years of loyal support!

Dragon Warriors will also be rewarded with new smartphones and computers developed by the Great Engineers of the Middle Kingdom, and completely free from dangerous Western software like WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, etc. that their families can enjoy.

In addition, Dragon Warriors will receive a special signed edition of the Xi Jinping Thought booklet, as well as flags and banners that they can hang inside and outside their homes!

The Great Leader himself helped to create this special banner to inspire the Dragon Warriors, and make them proud of being part of the CCP propaganda machinery.

我是五毛
我骄傲

I’m fifty cents
I am proud

So inspiring! And what an awesome way to decorate the home of a true Dragon Warrior!

That is just the beginning. By the end of 2023, all Dragon Warriors will be given access to the Legendary Incentives, Awards and Rewards System (LIARS), which is powered by artificial intelligence being developed by Chinese scientists.

The wumao will no longer need to submit monthly reports with screenshots and URLs to their Senior Head of Indoctrination Lessons and Lectures (SHILL) every month. The LIARS artificial intelligence is always watching, and will automatically detect when a registered Dragon Warrior posts on foreign social media or even WhatsApp and Telegram. This will give them more time to create more propaganda or influence posts!

Best of all – CCP uncles, who have been promoting our glorious CCP for free, will also be included in this LIARS incentive and rewards program!

Every propaganda post will be automatically graded by the LIARS AI system, and the scores will be reflected in their Dragon Warrior LIARS account. Accumulate enough points, and you can buy everything from a Bentley to a mail order bride!

If you would like to become a Dragon Warrior, you can submit your application by email, or walk into any Chinese embassy by giving the guard and telling him this secret password – 我是习近平.

Make sure you include examples of your efforts to promote the CCP party in any way. Extra points are given for aggression and name calling, so be sure to impress the wumao recruiter with some choice curse words for the Westerners!

My Most Excellent Works

Just in case the wumao and CCP uncles are not aware, this is satire, which is common and legal outside of China.

Here are more satire

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Samsung Mobbed With Demand For The Galaxy S8 Ultimate!

Hunt For The Galaxy S8 Ultimate!

Former Galaxy Note7 users have been questioned whether they still have their devices. One wife reportedly ransacked her husband’s belongings, only to find a second smartphone he used to keep in touch with his mistress. But no Galaxy Note7. #SoDead

Others resort to sharing the Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition‘s picture on social media in hope of snagging one.

1 like = 1 chance to win the Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition
1 share = 10 chances to win the Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition
1 like + 1 share = You do the math!

#S8Ultimate #iCantWait #h3h3

Samsung Mobbed!

But as our international correspondent, C. Lee Yu, reports from a particularly badly-mobbed Samsung Experience Store in New York City, some people are refusing to rely on their luck or social media skills. Instead, they are mobbing some Samsung stores, demanding to BUY the Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition.

When told that the Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition is not for sale, they literally turned into ravaging zombies… No shit.

C. Lee Yu only barely made it to safety, thanks to the kungfu skills that all Asian people are born with. He advises everyone else to pack guns, or just stay at home and pre-order the regular Galaxy S8. Seriously.

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If you don’t support us, who will? The last we checked, money still does not fall down from the heavens. Too bad we can’t live on sunshine and rainfall. We are not plants. In fact, we don’t even like eating our vegetables! We LOVE meat. So if you like our work, help us buy some meat… or send us some meat! Preferably with a nice bottle of red to go with it. 😀

How To Get The Exclusive Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition!

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If you are one of the few with a Samsung Galaxy Note7 (dead or alive), Samsung will give YOU the Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition in exchange! But don’t worry if you were not a Galaxy Note7 user. We will share with you how you can to get your hands on the Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition!

The Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition

Samsung is only making a limited number of the Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition available in select countries around the world. How does it differ from the regular Samsung Galaxy S8? See for yourself!

Specifications	Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition	Samsung Galaxy S8
Display	5.8" Super AMOLED dual-edge display - 1440 x 2960 pixels (570 ppi)	5.8" Super AMOLED dual-edge display - 1440 x 2960 pixels (570 ppi)
Protection	Corning Gorilla Glass 5 (front & back panels)	Corning Gorilla Glass 5 (front & back panels)
Operating System (At Launch)	Android 7.0 Nougat	Android 7.0 Nougat
System Platform	Samsung Exynos 8895 or Qualcomm Snapdragon 835	Samsung Exynos 8895 or Qualcomm Snapdragon 835
Memory	6 GB LPDDR4 SDRAM	4 GB LPDDR4 SDRAM
Storage Options	256 GB internal flash storage One microSD slot (shared with SIM 2) - supports up to 256 GB	64 GB internal flash storage One microSD slot (shared with SIM 2) - supports up to 256 GB
Front Camera	8 MP sensor with f/1.7 lens	8 MP sensor with f/1.7 lens
Rear Camera	12 MP Sony / Samsung (1.4 µm) sensor with f/1.7 lens, optical image stabilisation (OIS) and LED flash	12 MP Sony / Samsung (1.4 µm) sensor with f/1.7 lens, optical image stabilisation (OIS) and LED flash
Dual SIM capability	Hybrid dual SIM (dual active capability) - SIM 2 + microSD shared slot	Hybrid dual SIM (dual active capability) - SIM 2 + microSD shared slot
Connectivity	Network : LTE Cat. 16 (1 Gbps / 150 Mbps) WiFi : 802.11a/b/g/n/ac/ (2.4 GHz & 5 GHz), MIMO (2 x 2) Bluetooth : Version 5.0 LE, ANT+ Others : USB 3.1, NFC, GPS	Network : LTE Cat. 16 (1 Gbps / 150 Mbps) WiFi : 802.11a/b/g/n/ac/ (2.4 GHz & 5 GHz), MIMO (2 x 2) Bluetooth : Version 5.0 LE, ANT+ Others : USB 3.1, NFC, GPS
Fingerprint Sensor	Yes, Rear Mounted	Yes, Rear Mounted
Iris Scanner	Yes	Yes
Other Sensors	Accelerometer, Proximity, RGB Light, Geo-magnetic, Gyro, Barometer, Hall, HRM	Accelerometer, Proximity, RGB Light, Geo-magnetic, Gyro, Barometer, Hall, HRM
Water & Dust Resistance	IP68	IP68
Battery	3,000 mAh lithium-ion battery (non-removable) - fast charging capability (wired & wireless) - wireless charging (WPC and PMA)	3,000 mAh lithium-ion battery (non-removable) - fast charging capability (wired & wireless) - wireless charging (WPC and PMA)
Dimensions	159.5 mm tall 73.4 mm wide 8.1 mm thick	148.9 mm tall 68.1 mm wide 8.0 mm thick
Weight	173 g	152 g
Colour Options	Black As Night, Monday Blues, Good As Gold	Midnight Black, Orchid Gray, Arctic Silver, Coral Blue, Maple Gold
AWESOME Ultimate Edition Logo	OF COURSE!	Nahhhh....

Basically, it is the Samsung Galaxy S8 with 50% more memory, and 4X the internal storage! AWESOME, isn’t it? But you can’t buy it because it’s currently not available for retail sale!

If You Still Have A Galaxy Note7…

If you still have a Samsung Galaxy Note7 with you, in any condition, you can trade it in for a Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition for FREE! No shit.

Just walk right up to any Samsung store, plunk down your Galaxy Note7 (dead or alive), and ask for the Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition. So much #win! 😀

Why Is Samsung Doing This?

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The Samsung Galaxy Note7 has been the butt of many Internet jokes, memes and fake stories. But despite its battery woes, it was a very popular phablet.

It was so popular that many people refused to return their Galaxy Note7, despite Samsung’s extensive recall program. In fact, Samsung had to issue a “kill order” at the end of 2016 to try and disable the Galaxy Note7 phablets that are still out there!

The “Galaxy Note7 For S8 Ultimate Edition” exchange program is their way to thank their most fanatical fans.

But I Don’t Have A Note7….

Don’t worry. Samsung is reserving a limited number of Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition smartphones for those who get the most likes for pictures of the Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition.

All you have to do is share one of these pictures PUBLICLY in social media, using these details and hashtags :

1 like = 1 chance to win the Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition
1 share = 10 chances to win the Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition
1 like + 1 share = You do the math!

#S8Ultimate #iCantWait #h3h3

Samsung will use the third-party tracking service H3H3 to track the number of likes on your post, and award those with highest number of likes with a Samsung Galaxy S8 Ultimate Edition!

Obviously, you can increase your chance by posting multiple times, and getting your friends to like your post! 😀

Make sure you share them publicly. If they cannot see them, they cannot track them!

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Stacker NAND Technology TRIPLES Flash Capacity

Stacker NAND Technology

Unlike existing MLC and TLC NAND technologies, Stacker NAND works independently of NAND process technologies. In fact, it is applied to existing NAND flash technologies to triple their capacities.

The Stacker NAND technology uses two different compression methods to deliver TRIPLE the capacity of any existing NAND flash storage technology.

The first is a lossless data compression algorithm that compresses data before they are written to the NAND flash memory. Depending on the file type, this can almost double the amount of data that can be stored in a particular flash chip.

To further increase the storage capacity to 3X, they add a lossy compression technology which applies filters that reduces the randomness of the data. This allows the earlier lossless compression technology to be even more effective.

At the moment, Terrarium says 3X more storage is a good compromise between additional storage and loss of data. But if necessary, they can scale it up to 5X or even 6X.

Only For Photos & Videos

As you can tell, the Stacker NAND technology cannot be used for regular data. It is designed to be used only for photos and videos. Terrarium Labs was very explicit that their compression technology will change some data in return for much small file sizes when compressed. However, they see this as a small price to pay for much larger storage capacities at the same price.

According to Terrarium Labs, a 256 Gbit Stacker NAND module paired with a regular 256 Gbit NAND module will double the effective capacity for very little cost – 768 Gbit of lossy storage + 256 Gbit of lossless storage.

Below is a prototype M.2 SSD module they created out of one regular 256 Gbit NAND module and two 256 Gbit Stacker NAND modules for 2.33X the effective storage capacity – 1,792 Gbits of storage, instead of just 768 Gbits. That’s just over 1,000 Gbits of extra storage!

Although Terrarium Labs admits that their lossy compression algorithm will reduce image quality, they say that at 3X, this is minimal and will only be obvious if the pictures or videos are examined very closely. They also pointed out that some of the filters used will actually reduce noise, which enhances picture and video quality.

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Photo Comparison

Obviously, we found that hard to believe, so they invited us to send them some photo samples. We sent them a dozen photo samples from the ASUS ZenPad 7.0 and the recently-reviewed honor 5X smartphone. Take a look at the four comparisons of their lossy compression filters at work.

They are correct that the difference is subtle and only apparent up close. There is some loss of detail, but also less noise. But would you accept such changes?

Adaptable

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Terrarium partners can pair the Terrarium Stacker processor with any number of NAND modules, and choose either lossless or lossy compression, or both.

Terrarium is also offering the compression software to partners who prefer to do without the processor, but it may sap up to 30% of a quad-core processor’s cycles.

They claim they’re currently in talks with the top smartphone manufacturers from the United States, Korea and China to introduce the Stacker processor and/or software into the next-generation smartphones.

Fun Fact

Tech old-timers will remember Stacker, the disk compression utility for MS-DOS. It not only doubled the capacity of our puny 42 MB hard disk drives, it also sped up reads and writes by compressing data before they were written to the abysmally-slow hard disk drives of the day. However, Stac Electronics, the company that developed Stacker soon crumbled after Microsoft introduced their free DoubleSpace disk compression software.

Little known to many, Stac Electronics spun off a chip making company called Hifn, which makes encryption and compression processors. Some of Hifn’s key engineers are those who helped form Terrarium Labs. That’s why they named their first product – Stacker.