A Scottish bloke just found out the hard way why it’s a bad… VERY BAD IDEA to take dick pics using the newfangled rising camera that goes up and down like… his own dick.
WORST. IDEA. EVER.
A Bloody Emergency!
A horny Scottish gentleman was recently admitted to the Raigmore Hospital in Inverness, complaining that his “Johnny’s got cut!“, and spewing blood out the front of his pants.
Doctors quickly determined that a rectangular piece of his male pride was neatly cut out. They successfully sewed up the wound, but the poor bloke now has to live with a permanent downward bent in his junk!
C’est la vie! Or as they say in Scotland – Is e a bheatha!
The doctors were perplexed and greatly intrigued by the wound. It was a small but perfectly rectangular. What on Earth (or in the Milky Way) could cause such a wound?
Was it the results of some misadventure in self-gratification? Or a misunderstanding with a lass?
A Rising Camera Clipped His Junk!
With the help of a healthy dose of scopolamine and half a bottle of Macallan, they got to the bottom of it.
The poor bloke had just purchased one of those newfangled smartphones with a rising camera. He loved how the rising camera would go up and down on command, “like his own Johnny”.
After a hot and heavy evening of chatting with a lady he fancied, interspersed with Scotch shots, he decided to prove his virility by taking and sending her a few dick pics.
He could not remember what happened, but the next thing he knew, he was screaming in great pain with blood spurting everywhere!
One of the doctors passed him his phone and asked him to show them how the rising camera worked (seriously???).. and lo behold, when the rising camera slid up, out popped a piece of the Scottish lad…
The Rising Camera Is NOT For Dick Pics
Me dear laddies, it be true that the Scottish Highlands are cold and lonely, without a lass in sight and only sheep to keep the nights warm.
So we geddit when you have the urge to connect with a lass of the humanoid persuasion, But don’t be a dick and take those dick pics with a rising camera!
LOOK at how much painkillers they have to give him!!!
Yes, it may go up and down like your dick, but SERIOUSLY, it is still a self-respecting selfie camera and deserves to be treated with the appropriate respect.
So… DON’T BE A DICK and TAKE DICK PICS with your smartphone… especially if it has a rising camera!
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