Ken wrote his Christmas wish list a while back and if I didn't say I was jealous, I'd be kidding or maybe just plain lying. But if he gets anything from that list, I'll stab him, lot of times... many times.
Getting on with this editorial, I personally hate wish lists. They are a way for losers like myself to comfort our inner child within us and make us feel that we have great things to strive for in our lives. It's like telling ourselves that there are great stuff out there to play with. Heck, anyone with a little IQ can see that! The point is can we afford them???
So, I'd lump wishlists into the same category as my useless cousins and New Year resolutions. Just like stuff in wish lists, New Year resolutions never get fulfilled and are just as pathetic. Reality sucks. Ha ha, sucks for you, that is.
Aside from making us feel better about our loser-selves, even Corporate Schmucks have caught on! When was the last time you saw an e-tailer without a Wish List section? It's some grand conspiracy, I tell you, since nobody really cares about your damn wish list!
Not to get any more Freudian on your asses and reintroduce you to the cold and harsh realities of this world (Yes kids, there's no such thing as Santa), but here's my coup de grace!
I, for one, am going to create a wish list that is REALISTIC (at least more realistic than Ken's) for once!
Yes, yes, unlike the others at Tech ARP, I'm a little more morose when to comes to the world. My wishlist will comprise of stuff that I'm more likely to get, than the stuff in Ken's wish list, although that in it's own is pretty debatable.
But in the end, who gives a toss about what anyone thinks? I just think my wish list is more realistic for me, and heck, I'm sure you are bored to tears with my introduction. So, let's get on with it!
Number 10 - Friends
Don't all people have friends? Nope, not me. I assume it's because I'm too great a person and an altruist to boot. But of course, I get lonely sometimes. It's a hard job being as awesome as I am and sharing that aura with potential buddies.
Here is a picture of geeks who actually have friends.
Thus number 10 on my wish list is to get friends for this holiday season - good friends, preferably female, hot and with lots of cash, who live in big houses with next-generation consoles and expensive rigs, don't mind me crashing at their house and just giggle when I steal their stuff right in front of them.
If those aren't friends, I don't know what they are... Wait, those might be doormats, but heck, I will call them friends if they are really that good!
The point is that getting friends like that is probably more realistic than getting a dinky little laser that's green. Green is so 70s.
For friends, visit http://www.friendster.com.
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